It's Not Easy
by Fancy Face
Summary: Pippin does some thinking after Gandalf falls.


Don't own a thing. Just borrowing…   
  
  
  
It's Not Easy:  
By: Fancy Face  
  
  
  
I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me  
  
  
  
It's been 24 hours since Gandalf had fallen. Now, I Pippin Took, along with the other members of the Fellowship are resting for the night. Aragorn had made us a fire, and Sam, Merry, and Frodo were sitting close to it. They were all quiet. They were still filled with much sorrow for the loss of our wise friend. As for the others, Aragorn, along with Gimli and Legolas were out and about the area searching for Orcs, and Boromir offered to stay with my friends near the fire. He would keep watch over us. Now, me, I'm a few feet away from them lost in thoughts. I didn't want to be with my friends tonight. I wanted to be alone with my sorrow.   
  
  
  
I'm more than a bird…I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face beside a train  
It's not easy to be me   
  
  
  
They do not what is like, for I know, I am the cause of Gandalf's fall. "It's not your fault Pip." Merry had told me a few minutes after his fall. I knew he meant well, but I had ignored him when he made that comment. I might not be the smartest of the bunch, but I know when to take the blame for something that I did do.   
  
  
  
Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see   
  
  
  
I still can remember the last thing that Gandalf said to me before he fell. "Fool of Took! Next time through yourself in, and rid of us of your stupidity!" Now, I wish I had thrown myself in. Maybe he was right. Maybe if I hadn't come along none of this would have happened.   
  
  
  
It may sound absurd…but don't be naive  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed…but won't you concede  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me  
  
  
  
I think he was correct when he used the term: "stupidity". I think that fits me well. I mean, what do I have to with this quest. All I do is cause trouble even though I try to behave.   
  
  
  
Up, up and away…away from me  
It's all right…You can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy…or anything…   
  
  
  
The tears had just started to fall from my eyes when I had heard a noise from behind me. I turned around to see that it was Boromir. Even though, he did not know Gandalf as well as the rest of had, you could still see the sorrow on his face. Even he had missed the wizard.   
  
"Are you all right lad?" he asked me.  
  
I was quiet. I didn't want to answer because if I did, I knew that the tears would have streamed down my face, and I did not want to cry in front of him or anyone. When I did not answer him, he continued to talk to me.   
  
  
"I know you're a upset Pippin but you need to be with friends right now." said he. "They need you too."  
  
"Do they now?" I asked him as I tried to hold back the tears. "They do not need me."   
  
"Oh, but they do." he replied. "They are not whole without you."  
  
"How is that?" I asked.   
  
"You are not only their friend but family." he answered. "Please, come join us, and share your sorrow with us."  
  
"No!" I said to him. "I wish to be alone with my sorrow!" I continued. "Please, leave me!"  
  
"All right," Boromir said and let out a sigh. "Well, if you do change your mind, Sam had made some dinner."  
  
I shooed him away with my hand. I didn't watch him leave but I heard him mutter something under his breath. It sounded like: "Poor lad." Yeah, poor me. Poor me, my arse! I do not need any kind of sympathy from anyone. I don't deserve it!   
  
  
  
I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees  
  
  
  
I thought I would be a good use in this quest, but I'm starting to doubt myself. I let out a sigh. I want to leave the Fellowship but know I can not. I know It was because of me that Gandalf fell, but I must try someway to help. I will continue on this quest because I love all my cousins with all my heart. However, if I cause anymore trouble, I will leave. For they do not understand, it's not easy to be.  
  
  
  
It's not easy to be me…  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
[Song: Superman (It's Not Easy), By: Five For Fighting]  
  
  
[i hope everyone like this one. i know i did. i had fun writing it. i know it has major angst in but hey i love those! yes, this another pippin fic. if you can't tell by now, he's my fav character. sidenote: long live billy boyd! he rules! untill next time...] 


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